人生三十
The days are long but the decades are short
I turned 30 last week and a friend asked me if I’d figured out any life advice in the past decade worth passing on. I’m somewhat hesitant to publish this because I think these lists usually seem hollow, but here is a cleaned up version of my answer:
- Never put your family, friends, or significant other low on your priority list. Prefer a handful of truly close friends to a hundred acquaintances. Don’t lose touch with old friends. Occasionally stay up until the sun rises talking to people. Have parties.
译:永远要把家庭、朋友和其他重要的事情放在你的优先清单中。拥有三五挚友而不是成百上千的熟人。和老友保持联系。偶尔聊天到深夜。偶尔开party。
- Life is not a dress rehearsal—this is probably it. Make it count. Time is extremely limited and goes by fast. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled—few people get remembered hundreds of years after they die anyway. Don’t do stuff that doesn’t make you happy (this happens most often when other people want you to do something). Don’t spend time trying to maintain relationships with people you don’t like, and cut negative people out of your life. Negativity is really bad. Don’t let yourself make excuses for not doing the things you want to do.
译:生活不是化装舞会,让他「算数」。时间极度有限而且极速飞逝。做那些让自己开心的、有成就感的事。几百年后能被记住的人凤毛麟角。不要做那些让自己不开心的事(大多数时候是其他人让你去做这件事)。不要试图和那些你不喜欢的人保持联系,把那些消极的人从你的生活中赶出。消极很糟糕。不要让自己后悔,没有做那些自己想做的事。
- How to succeed: pick the right thing to do (this is critical and usually ignored), focus, believe in yourself (especially when others tell you it’s not going to work), develop personal connections with people that will help you, learn to identify talented people, and work hard. It’s hard to identify what to work on because original thought is hard.
译:怎么成功:找到正确的事(这很关键而且经常被忽略)、专注、相信自己(尤其是当其他人告诉你不可能的时候)、和那些能给你帮助的人建立私人联系、学会识别有才能的人、最后要努力工作。找到什么是要做的事很难,因为原创的想法很难。
- On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work. Work very hard—a surprising number of people will be offended that you choose to work hard—but not so hard that the rest of your life passes you by. Aim to be the best in the world at whatever you do professionally. Even if you miss, you’ll probably end up in a pretty good place. Figure out your own productivity system—don’t waste time being unorganized, working at suboptimal times, etc. Don’t be afraid to take some career risks, especially early on. Most people pick their career fairly randomly—really think hard about what you like, what fields are going to be successful, and try to talk to people in those fields.
译:关于工作:做自己不关心的事会很痛苦。如果你不喜欢你的工作,你不会完全地开心,也不会有成就感。努力工作(很多人会因为你努力工作而感到冒犯,但是远远不及余生的后悔让你难过)。立志在你所在的专业领域做到最好,即使最后没有做到,你很可能也会处于一个很好的状态。找到自己的效率系统,不要让混乱、低效浪费你的时间。不要害怕职业冒险,尤其在年轻时。绝大多数人都是在随机选择职业,认真思考你喜欢的,什么领域有前景,和这些领域的人交流。
- On money: Whether or not money can buy happiness, it can buy freedom, and that’s a big deal. Also, lack of money is very stressful. In almost all ways, having enough money so that you don’t stress about paying rent does more to change your wellbeing than having enough money to buy your own jet. Making money is often more fun than spending it, though I personally have never regretted money I’ve spent on friends, new experiences, saving time, travel, and causes I believe in.
译:关于钱:无论钱能不能买到开心,钱可以买到自由,这是个「大交易」。而且,没有钱会带来巨大的压力。几乎任何情况下,拥有足够多的钱,不让自己因房租而感到压力,都比去买一架私人飞机更重要。挣钱比花钱开心,在朋友、新的体验、省时间、旅行和其他我相信的事上所花的钱,我也没有感到后悔过。
- Talk to people more. Read more long content and less tweets. Watch less TV. Spend less time on the Internet.
译:多和他人交流。读长内容,少刷微博。少看电视。少花时间在互联网上。
- Don’t waste time. Most people waste most of their time, especially in business.
译:不要浪费时间。大多数人在浪费他们的时间,尤其是在职场中。
- Don’t let yourself get pushed around. As Paul Graham once said to me, “People can become formidable, but it’s hard to predict who”. (There is a big difference between confident and arrogant. Aim for the former, obviously.)
译:不让自己被推着走。Paul Grapham曾说,「人可能会变得很可怕,但你不知道是谁」(自信和自负有很大区别,做前者)
- Have clear goals for yourself every day, every year, and every decade.
译:每天、每年、每十年都要有清晰的目标。
- However, as valuable as planning is, if a great opportunity comes along you should take it. Don’t be afraid to do something slightly reckless. One of the benefits of working hard is that good opportunities will come along, but it’s still up to you to jump on them when they do.
译:计划很重要,但当一个巨大的机会来到你面前时,你应该抓住他。不要害怕去做一些稍微鲁莽的事。努力工作的一个好处是,好机会会来到你面前,但是仍需要你跳上去驯服他。
- Go out of your way to be around smart, interesting, ambitious people. Work for them and hire them (in fact, one of the most satisfying parts of work is forging deep relationships with really good people). Try to spend time with people who are either among the best in the world at what they do or extremely promising but totally unknown. It really is true that you become an average of the people you spend the most time with.
译:不厌其烦地和聪明的、有趣的、有抱负的人混在一起。为他们工作、雇佣他们(实际上,和这些人建立深度关系,是工作中最满足的部分)。试着和那些在自己领域或极具前景但仍不为人知的领域做到世界最好的人待在一起。你会成为你经常在一起的朋友的平均,确实如此。
- Minimize your own cognitive load from distracting things that don’t really matter. It’s hard to overstate how important this is, and how bad most people are at it. Get rid of distractions in your life. Develop very strong ways to avoid letting crap you don’t like doing pile up and take your mental cycles, especially in your work life.
译:极小化自己的认知负担,减少不重要事的打扰。再怎么强调都不为过,但大多数人都做的不好。从生活中抹掉干扰。建立有力的方式,不让垃圾堆积或占领你的心智。尤其在工作中。
- Keep your personal burn rate low. This alone will give you a lot of opportunities in life.
译:保持极地的个人消耗,会让你在生活中有更多的机会。
- Summers are the best.
译:夏天是最好的。
- Don’t worry so much. Things in life are rarely as risky as they seem. Most people are too risk-averse, and so most advice is biased too much towards conservative paths.
译:不要太焦虑。生活中的事不会像看上去那样危险。大多数人太规避风险,以至大部分建议都倾向于保守。
- Ask for what you want.
译:问自己想要什么。
- If you think you’re going to regret not doing something, you should probably do it. Regret is the worst, and most people regret far more things they didn’t do than things they did do. When in doubt, kiss the boy/girl.
译:如果你认为自己会因为没做什么事而后悔,那别你应该做。后悔是最坏的事,绝大多数人会因为没做而后悔而不是做了。如果有疑虑,亲她。
- Exercise. Eat well. Sleep. Get out into nature with some regularity.
译:锻炼,吃好,睡好。定期接触自然。
- Go out of your way to help people. Few things in life are as satisfying. Be nice to strangers. Be nice even when it doesn’t matter.
译:不然其烦地帮助他人。生活中很少能如此带来满足。对陌生人友好,即便在无关紧要的时候。
- Youth is a really great thing. Don’t waste it. In fact, in your 20s, I think it’s ok to take a “Give me financial discipline, but not just yet” attitude. All the money in the world will never get back time that passed you by.
译:年轻真的很好。不好浪费。事实上,在20多岁时,我认可这样的态度:「给我财务准则,但不是现在」。全世界所有的钱都不会让逝去的时光回来。
- Tell your parents you love them more often. Go home and visit as often as you can.
译: 更多地对父母说,我爱你。尽可能多回家看看。
- This too shall pass.
译: 一切都会过去。
- Learn voraciously.
译:贪婪地学习。
- Do new things often. This seems to be really important. Not only does doing new things seem to slow down the perception of time, increase happiness, and keep life interesting, but it seems to prevent people from calcifying in the ways that they think. Aim to do something big, new, and risky every year in your personal and professional life.
译:经常尝试新东西。这非常重要。这不仅会让时间变慢,增加快乐感,增加生活的兴趣,也会避免思维僵化。不论在生活或工作中,每年计划做一些大的、新的、有风险的事。
- Remember how intensely you loved your boyfriend/girlfriend when you were a teenager? Love him/her that intensely now. Remember how excited and happy you got about stuff as a kid? Get that excited and happy now.
译:还记得年轻时,你是多么深爱你的恋人?想那时候一样爱她。还记得小时候,得到礼物你是多么的快乐?也要像那时一样快乐。
- Don’t screw people and don’t burn bridges. Pick your battles carefully.
译:不要「搞」他人。谨慎地选择战斗。
- Forgive people.
译:原谅他人。
- Don’t chase status. Status without substance doesn’t work for long and is unfulfilling.
译:不要追求名。没有基础的名不会长久也是不完成的。
- Most things are ok in moderation. Almost nothing is ok in extreme amounts.
译:过犹不及,大多数事中庸即可。
- Existential angst is part of life. It is particularly noticeable around major life events or just after major career milestones. It seems to particularly affect smart, ambitious people. I think one of the reasons some people work so hard is so they don’t have to spend too much time thinking about this. Nothing is wrong with you for feeling this way; you are not alone.
译:不安是生命的一部分。在生命的重要事件时尤为明显。似乎对聪敏、有抱负的人尤为明显。我认为,很多人努力工作的原因,他们没有时间焦虑不安了。如果你感到不安,这不是你的错,你不孤单。
- Be grateful and keep problems in perspective. Don’t complain too much. Don’t hate other people’s success (but remember that some people will hate your success, and you have to learn to ignore it).
译:感恩,长远的视角看问题。不要抱怨。不要嫉妒他人的成功(但是记住,有些人可能会你的成功怀恨,你要学会忽略他)。
- Be a doer, not a talker.
译:做一个行动派。
- Given enough time, it is possible to adjust to almost anything, good or bad. Humans are remarkable at this.
译:有足够的时间,我们能适应几乎任何事情,好的坏的。人类很善于此。
- Think for a few seconds before you act. Think for a few minutes if you’re angry.
译:做前少想,怒前多想。
- Don’t judge other people too quickly. You never know their whole story and why they did or didn’t do something. Be empathetic.
译:不要太随意地评判他人。你用于不知道他人的经历以及为什么做那样的决定。要有同理心。
- The days are long but the decades are short.
译:一天太长,十年太短。